Text Jokes – Boy: I love you!
Boy: I’ll even die for you.
Boy: I can’t live without you.
Boy: I even bought a diamond ring for you.
Top 32 Funny Text Jokes
- Don’t spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
- Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!
- First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
- For sale : Air Bags, Used once.
- For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
- Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says “Oi – get out! We don’t want your type in here”
- friendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true warmth.thank u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx
- God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
- He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!
- Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis………………………ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry…………..
- Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? …Okay, then can we just practice?
- How do you breathe through that thing?
- How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head
- How Dogs and Women are alike….. Neither believe that silence is golden. Neither can balance a checkbook. Both put too much value on kissing.
- How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
- What did the elephant say to the naked man?
- What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?
- What do Germans use for birth control? Their personalities!
- What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet? The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
- What do you call a handcuffed man? – Trustworthy.
- What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.
- What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a German? A man who’s too drunk to follow orders.
- What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows everything.
- What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
- What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? You don’t, you’ve told her twice already!
- What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
- What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive? Popeye beat the crap outta him.
- What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
- What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women.
- What’s pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!
- What’s the definition of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.
Text Jokes – Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.
Text Jokes – When girls wear tight fittings
UNIVERSAL TRUTH :
When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Boys are comfortable��. !!
Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
Exams wil get postponed!”
Text Jokes – An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!
Text Jokes – A successful man
A successful man is one
who makes more money
his wife can spend.
Text Jokes – Who is she
A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend
Friend Asked : Who Is She?
Boy : My Cousin.
The Frend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin.! :
Text Jokes – Part & art of living
Having “WIFE” Is A
Part Of Living…
Along With The “WIFE” Is
Art Of Livin
Text Jokes – When a Guy or Girl does Something Wrong!
When a Guy does Something Wrong!
Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp!
Boy : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!
Girl : I can’t believe you did this.
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !!
When a Girl does Something Wrong!
Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!!
Girl : It was an Accident. I didn’t mean to!
Boy : I can’t believe you did this.
Girl : I already feel bad about it..!! Stop making me feel Worse..!!
Boy : I’m Sorry..!!:(
Text Jokes – I just feel u….
I just feel u….
Whenever I feel u….
I just miss u …..
Whenever i miss u ….
I just wanna See u ….
Do u know why…….
It’s juts because …………
******I LOVE CARTOONS*******
Text Jokes – Interesting line on girl’s T-shirt
Most interesting line written
on the front of T-shirt of a girl,
Excuse me !
My face is above.;-)
Text Jokes – What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?
What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?
A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.
Funny Text Jokes – Never KISS a lady police
Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time
Funny Text Jokes – Husband, wife & spare tyre
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle
If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further
always Keep a SPARE TYRE….
More Funny Text Jokes
Funny Text Jokes – Funny Oxymorons
(An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together)
1) Clearly misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty ugly
8) Seriously funny
9) Only choice
10) Original copies
the Mother of all
11) Happily Married
Funny Text Jokes – What is the difference between monkey and donkey
What is the difference between
Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
Donkey deletes this message.
Choice is urs……..:p
Funny Text Jokes – Love marriage is better because
Why love marriage
is better than arranged???
“A KNOWN DEVIL
IS BETTER THAN
AN UNKNOWN GHOST”
Funny Text Jokes – There are two type of studies:
There are two type of studies:
1 – hard subjects which Cannot be studied.
2 – easy subject that Doesn’t need to be studied
Funny Text Jokes – I am using your wife
A man received message from his neighbour.
Sorry sir I am using your wife.
I am using day and night.
I am using when u r not present at home.
In fact I am using more than U R using.
I confess this because now I feel very much guilt.
Hope U will accept my sincere apologies.
Man went home and had a big fight with his wife.
Few minutes later he received another massage.
Sorry Sir spelling / auto correct mistake …
it’s not wife but WIFI.
Funny Text Jokes – Funny graduation speech
I Would Like To Thank,
The Internet, Google, Wikipedia,
Microsoft 0ffice And
Copy Paste. . . !! =P =D
Funny Text Jokes – We will buy new wedding wring
Girlfriend:Its 2 tight
Boyfriend:Dont worry,Ill put it slowly,
Girlfriend:Push it in,
Well buy new WEDDING RING!
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