Teacher Jokes – Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map. Maria:This is it. Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America? Class:Maria did.

Top 20 Funny Teacher Jokes

  1. The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said…. “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades….. somebody is going to get a spanking…”
  2. Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?
    Pupil: I get up early!
  3. “An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?”
    “Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.”
  4. Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?
    Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!
  5. A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!”
  6. Teacher: “Isn’t it remarkable how quickly the kids learn to drive the car?”
    Parent: “Yes, especially considering how slowly they catch on to running the lawnmower and vacuum cleaner.”
  7. Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
    Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!
  8. The new family in the neighborhood overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus.The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school.They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes – but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home.The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she’d led him around in such a circle.The child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It’s the only way I know.”
  9. Teachers always tell us to follow our dreams….BUT yet they don’t let us sleep in class.
  10. Why did the teacher marry the janitor? Because he swept her off her feet!
  11. What is the Great Depression? when you get a bad grade in history
  12. If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.
  13. A mom calls out to her son “Harry! Wake up! You’ll be late for school.” The son replies, “Mom I don’t want to go to school! The teachers and students hate me! Give me one reason I should go!” The mom says back, “You should go because you’re the principal!”
  14. Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!
  15. Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.
  16. Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? Ted: What? Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
  17. Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an “I”. Student: I is the…. Teacher: Stop! Never put ‘is’ after an “I”. Always put ‘am’ after an “I”. Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
  18. Two fathers chat outside school in the morning; “Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?” “Yes, man, I did. Why?” “Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them…?”
  19. Nate: Why was school easier for cave people? Kate: Why? Nate: Because there was no history to study!
  20. Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I’d climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion’s?

Teacher Jokesteacher jokes 6

Teacher Jokes – Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, “Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life.”

From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, “Amanda,

Teacher Jokes – Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.”

Teacher Jokes – Does it count as differentiated instruction if I print their worksheets in different colors?

Teacher Jokes – Pupil: I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you!

What do you call a teacher without students?

Teacher Jokes – Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.

Teacher Jokes – Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil: Life imprisonment!teacher jokes 9

Teacher Jokes – Where do door-makers get their education?
The school of hard knocks

Teacher Jokes – What do you call a teacher without students?
Broke…oh wait, that’s a regular teacher

Teacher Jokes – Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

Teacher Jokes – SIMPLE LOGIC
Teacher: ‘Name one animal that is found in the desert.’
Rajan: ‘A camel.’
Teacher: ‘Good. Name another animal.’
VIkram: ‘Another camel.’

More Funny Teacher Jokes

Teacher: Ramu, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Ramu: Me!

Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Ramu: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair of the same at home.

Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America.
Shamu: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
Ramu: Shamu!

Teacher: Ramu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Ramu: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
Ramu: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”

Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Ramu: Don’t bite any.

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would
I be showing?
Ramu: Brotherly love.

Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Ramu: A teacherteacher jokes

Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty?
Ramu: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

Teacher: “Ramu, you talk a lot !”
Ramu: “It’s a family tradition”.
Teacher: “What do you mean?”
Ramu: “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.
Teacher: “What about your mother?”
Ramu: “She’s a woman”.

Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Ramu: Your name on this report card.

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