Retarded Jokes – I don”t know about you, but I”m sick of seeing disabled people being pushed around…
Top 50 Funny Retard Jokes
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing… you already told her twice.
Why do black men cry during sex? Mace.
What’s white and fourteen inches long? Nothing.
How many white guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The number doesn’t matter because the white man will screw anything.
What does a white woman make for dinner? Reservations.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by five black guys? Coach.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by eleven black guys? Football coach.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by hundreds of black guys? Warden.
What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Cracker with cheese.
What does a tampon and a white woman have in common? They’re both stuck up cunts.
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite part of a hockey game? Before the First Period.
How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
What is a redneck virgin? A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog kill itself? You would too if you were named Auuurraaagggghhh!
What is the most positive thing in harlem? HIV.
Why do Jewish girls like to fuck doggy style? They can’t stand to see somebody else have a good time.
Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? One stops sucking when you slap it.
What’s the difference between a British man and his girlfriend? His girlfriend has a higher sperm count.
Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature? Because spray paint wasn’t invented until 1949.
How do you know if a Chinese person robs your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.
What’s the first thing a redneck says after losing her virginity? Get off of me Dad, you’re crushing my cigarettes.
What do rednecks and KFC have in common? They do chicken right.
In Kentucky, what do divorces and tornados have in common? Either way, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Why do the Scottish wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away.
What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? Drowns
Two Muslims jump off the top of a very tall building. Which one his the ground first? Who gives a fuck?
What’s so good about an Ethiopian blow-job? You know she’ll swallow.
Why did the redneck cross the road? Because he couldn’t get his dick out of the chicken.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.
How do you kill 100 Mexicans? Blow up their van.
What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool? Cinco
What’s black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? They both drip when they’re fucked.
What did the little black boy say when he got diarrhea? I’m melting!
What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.
What did the little Mexican boy get for Christmas? My bike.
How are fat bitches and Mo-peds the same? They are both fun to ride, but you don’t tell your friends about them.
How many house wives does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! what the Fuck they doing out of the kitchen!?
How do you blindfold a chinese person? Dental floss.
What’s the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven!
Why do black people play basketball? They can run, shoot, and steal
What did Adolf Hitler get his neice for her birthday? An easy bake oven.
What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike? Ethiopian
Why don’t Puerto Ricans have check books? Because it’s impossible to sign your name that small with spray paint.
How do you know when a redneck has her period? She’s only wearing one sock.
What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? A rake.
How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a white girl? Throw them a basket ball.
Retarded Jokes – Olympic Gold medallists may receive fame and glory for their sporting endeavours, but only winners at the Special Olympics get taken to McDonald”s afterwards as well.
Retarded Jokes – An Open Letter To The Hard Of Hearing To whom it may concern. If you believe that I have, upon seeing your hearing aid, been treating you as though you”re retarded, I apologise. I thought it was a hands free kit.
Retarded Jokes – I tried to get something special for my wife for her birthday this year. But the lady at the council said they don”t sell mongs to the public.
Retarded Jokes – What”s black and runs into walls?Jordan”s baby.
Retarded Jokes – Funny Retard Dialogue
TENANT: “I saw the retard who moved in with your sister.”
LANDLORD: “That retard is worth five million dollars.”
TENANT: “He’s a retard worth five million bucks then.”
LANDLORD: “Some retards get rich.”
Retarded Jokes – Retard Looking For Color Televisions
A man walked into an appliance store and asked the clerk, “Do you sell color televisions?”
“Yes,” said the clerk. The man replied, “Then give me a green one.”
Retarded Jokes – Retards In Retail
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
Retarded Jokes – George Bush Speaking in Algeria
George W. Bush visits Algeria. As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: “You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra…”
Retarded Jokes – A little boy who was obviously retarded was attending an elementary school which was not too far from the local high school. This was temporary as he was having problems in school and his mother hoped his grandmother would be more luck. So he attends the first day of school with no problem but he decides to stay after everyone leaves for a project, then afterwards he is walking home from school and he sees the highschool and a lone car in the middle of the football field. Curious, he goes up to the car where he sees a guy and a girl having sex. The guy was thrusting so hard his condom literally popped off and landed in the field. Without hesitation the little boy picks up the condom and continues to watch. The guy notices the condom is missing and sees the obviously retarded little boy holding it with a huge grin on his face. He says to the little boy “Hey, Gimme that damn thing back!” The little boy replies “No, its my twinkie” The man again persists “Give it back now or i’ll kick your ass!” The little boy replies “But no, its my twinkie” Seeing the boy was obviously retarded he couldn’t bring himself to beat him up so he finally says “Look kid, if you give it back i’ll give you 20 dollars OK?” quickly the boy agrees and runs home as fast as he could. He flings open the door and his grandmother quickly greets him He was so excited about the previous event he Yelled at the top of his lungs, “Grandma Grandma some guy gave me 20 dollars for a twinkie, even though I sucked all the creme filling out!”
More Retarded Jokes
Retarded Jokes – President Bush is rehearsing his speech for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. He begins his remarks with “Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh”Immediately his speech writer rushes over to the lectern and whispers in the President”s ear: “Mr President, those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is underneath.”
Retarded Jokes – When I first took her out, she looked at me, giggled and smiled. When I asked her to dance, she looked at me, giggled and smiled. When we first made love, she looked at me, giggled and smiled. When I asked her to marry me, she looked at me, giggled and smiled. When I asked her if she enjoyed our first wedding anniversary celebrations, she looked at me, giggled and smiled. That”s when it finally dawned on me that she was mentally handicapped.
Retarded Jokes – What”s the difference between Sarah Palin”s mouth and her vagina?Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.
I live near a remedial school.There”s a sign on the road outside that says, “SLOW CHILDREN”.That can”t be good for their self-esteem…
Retarded Jokes – 3 Retarded Wives
Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives.
The first guy says, “My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn’t have a garage door.”
The second guy says, “My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn’t have any earphones.”
The third guy says, “My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn’t even have a d**k.”
Retarded Jokes – Q/A About Retards
Q: Why was it so easy for Dick Cheney to manipulate George Bush?
A: Both are retards. But George Bush is even more retarded.
Q: How do you get rid of a retard?
A: Give him a knife and ask “Who’s special?”
Q: How do you get retards out of a tree?
A: Wave to them!
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Funny Jokes In English
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