Quick Jokes: I love good short funny and quick jokes. People can share it quick and in a short time. Here are quick jokes 1some of the
funny quick jokes which people say it over and over again:

Quick Jokes 

  1. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
  2. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
  3. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
  4.  Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
  5. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.
  6. What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
  7. What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
  8. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
  9. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”
  10. Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.
  11. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
  12.  Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!
  13. What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
  14. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  16. Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
  17. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  18. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
  19. You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy.
  20. What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
  21. Dry erase boards are remarkable.
  22. Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
  23. How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of
  24. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
  25. Two penguins walk into a bar… which is stupid because the second one should have seen it.quick jokes
  26. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
  27.  I was wondering why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets…. then it hit me.
  28. Have I told you this deja vu joke before?
  29. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
  30. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be…
  31. I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.
  32. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
  33. Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, “Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh”. The next whale says, “Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.”
  34. I hate Russian dolls…so full of themselves
  35. What’s E.T. short for? Because he’s only got little legs.
  36. “I stand corrected,” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
  37. Wanna hear a joke about Potassium? (whether they say ‘yes’ or ‘no’): K.
  38. What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*
  39. A baby seal walks into a club.
  40. My grandad has the heart of a lion and a life time ban from the San Diego Zoo.

More Funny Quick Jokes

Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?
A: A trum-pet!
Q: What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of?
A: Trouble
Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A: A heavy discussion
Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dogfunny quick jokes
Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
A: Firecrackers!
Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
A: Look grandpa, no hands!
Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer?
A: The Space bar!
Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!
Q: What runs but doesn’t get anywhere?
A: A refrigerator
Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was out-standing in his field.
Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet.
Q: Why couldn’t dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.
Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
A: Oh Snap!
Q: What did one hat say to another?
A: You stay here, I’ll go on a head
Q: What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?
A: You’re too young to smoke!
Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A. Sue
Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
A. I just love baskin’ robins.
Q: Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
A: Because it’s a little meteor
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: He neverlands!
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed!

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!
Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone!
Q: What did the horse say when he fell?
A: Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!
Q: What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
Q: Which U.S. State has the smallest soft drinks?
A: Mini-soda
Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
A: All of the fans left
Q: What did the duck say to the bartender?
A: Put it on my bill
Q: How does a squid go into battle?
A: Well Armed
Q: What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
A: Reality
Q: What did the Time Traveler do when he was still hungry after his last bite?quick jokes 3
A: He went back four seconds.
Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer?
A: A loose Canon.
Q: Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
A: He takes things personally.
Q: Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas?
A: Clothes, but no cigar.
Q: What do you call the sound a dog makes when it’s choking on a piece of its owner’s jewelry?
A: A diamond in the ruff.
Q: What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold a yoga pose?
A: Yoga pants.
Q: How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date?
A: Bring her flours.
Q: Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit?
A: Because it was cultured.
Q: Where do cows hang their paintings?
A: In the mooo-seum.
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transport?
A: Wait at a buzz stop!
Q: What did the fashion police officer say to his sweater?
A: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Q: What do you call a group of unorganized cats?
A: A Cat-astrophe
Q: Why did the frog take the bus to work?
A: His car got toad.
Q: What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?
A: A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows.
Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid!
Q: What do they call cans in Mexico?
A: Mexi-cans
Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison
Q: Where do Volkswagens go when they get old
A: The Old Volks home!
Q: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
A: They kept dropping their trunks.
Q: What’s the most musical part of a chicken?
A: The drumstick
Q: What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
A: A Bagel

Short Quick Funny Jokes

Quick Jokes – The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.

Wife: Would you still love me if I became fat and lost my looks.
Husband: What do you mean “if”?

Quick Jokes – The following conversation took place between a husband and wife in Dublin.quick jokes 4

Paddy: Hi, darling, hope you had a nice day at work, I’ve finished nailing all your sex toys to the wall.
Paddy’s Wife: You f*cking useless twat I said I wanted a dado rail!

Quick Jokes – Me: Do you here what scientists are saying?
Her: No what.
Me: That there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.

 Quick Jokes – The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.

Wife: If women ruled the world there would be no wars.
Husband: Yeah that’s true. Wars require strategy, planning and logic.

Quick Jokes –Q. Why did the butcher go to hospital?
A. He cut the wrong sausage.

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