Math Jokes For Teachers: “If you had a dollar,” quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?” “One dollar.” answered little Johnny. “You don’t know your basic math.” said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, “You don’t know my daddy.”
Math Jokes For Teachers
Math Jokes For Teachers: Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, “Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.” His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?” The little boy answered, “I’m doing my math homework.” “And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked. “Yes,” he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny’s teacher the next day, “What are you teaching my son in class?” The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.” The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?” After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, “What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four.”
Math Jokes For Teachers: The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. “Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?” “11” he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right.” “What two days of the week start with the letter ‘T’?” “Today and tomorrow.” He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. “Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?” Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, “I don’t know.” “Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?” So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. “It went great! First day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”
Top 15 Math jokes for Teachers
Math Jokes For Kids
Q: How do you know when you’ve reached your Math Professors voice-mail?
A: The message is “The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again…”
Q: What is normed, complete, and yellow?
A: A Bananach space…
Q: What did 2 say to 4 after 2 beat him in a race?
A: 2 Fast 4 U! Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar? A: An algorithm!
Q: What did the mathematician’s parrot say?
A: A poly “no meal”
Q: Why dont people put the numbers 2,3, and 0 together?
A: Because they are two turdy.
Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
Q: How do you teach a blonde math?
A: Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.
Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation?
A: To Times Square.
Q: What do you call friends who love math?
Q: What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A: A roamin’ numeral.
Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9
Q: What did the mathematician say when he finished his christmas dinner?
A: root -1/ root 64 (I over 8)
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Q: Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?
A: They had nothing in common.
Top 11 Cheesy Math Jokes
- Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
A: Because you can’t drink and derive…
- Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
A: Because it had more cents.
- Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.
- Q: How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole?
A: Avacado’s Number
- Q: What happened to the plant in math class?
A: It grew square roots.
- Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side.
- Q: How do you make seven an even number?
A: Take the s out!
- Q: Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?
A: Because she sprained her angle!!
- Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
A: It’s two gross.
- Q: Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?
A: They required an orientation.
- Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation?
A: He works it out with a pencil.
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