Cute Jokes – Dog
This Dog, Is Dog, A Dog, Good Dog, Way Dog, To Dog, Keep Dog, An Dog, Idiot Dog, Busy Dog, For Dog, 20 Dog, Seconds Dog! … Now Read Without The Word Dog
Top 25 Funny Cute Jokes
- I thought a thought, but the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.
- I’m not saying that Charlie Sheen’s rehab isn’t going well, but CBS just renamed the show “Two and a Half Kilos”.
- How do they get the “Keep off the grass” sign on the grass?
- Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
- When French people swear, do they say “Pardon my English”?
- “Doctor, I think I’m a deck of cards!” The doctor says, “Sit in the waiting room, I’ll deal with you later.”
- I ran five miles today. Finally, I had to say, “OK Lady, here’s your purse back.”
- A buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and asks, “Make me one with everything!”
- Overweight is something that just snacks up on you.
- Doctor to patient: “I’d tell you what your condition is, but I’m not sure how to pronounce it!”
- If the grass is greener on the other side – water your grass!
- When someone hits you in the face, turn the other cheek. That way the swelling is even!
- I went to a ballet once. I couldn’t even tell who won.
- There are 3 essential tools: duct tape, WD40 and a hammer. If something is moving and it shouldn’t be, duct tape it. If it isn’t moving and it should be, use WD40. If it still doesn’t move, hit it with a hammer. If it breaks, tape it back together with the duct tape.
- Patient: “Doctor, something is wrong! I’m shrinking!” Doctor: “Now, now – you’ll have to be a little patient!”
- I went to Wal-Mart to get a wall, but they were all out.
- A little boy examines his privates while in the bath. “Mommy, are these my brains?” His mother says, “Not yet.”
- Saturn is the richest planet, you can tell by all the rings.
- I joined a secret club; the guy at the door asked me, “What’s the password?” I told him, “Aren’t you supposed to know that?”
- How can you tell which bottle has the PMS medicine? It’s the one with the teeth marks.
- Life begins when you’re born, and ends with an E.
- I had to catch a train, so I got a really big mitt.
- I have a Master’s Degree in Engineering. I told the owner I’ll return in in two days.
- Willie Nelson got hit by a car yesterday. He was playing “On the Road Again”. Jessica)
- Two buckets of vomit were walking down the street. One says to the other, “That’s where I was brought up!”
Cute Jokes – My Girlfriend
A K.G boy started closing his ears with both hnds,
When girl was about to start her speech …
Others asked him Why r you closing your ears?
He replied: Dude, She is my Girlfriend
n She is gonna start her speech with
Brothers n Sisters ..
Cute Jokes – Cute Proposal
A cute proposal from a cute boy to a cute girl:
Boy: your name seems to be very small,
Can i add my name with ur name!
Cute Jokes – Clothes
We all spend so much money for
But the best moments of life are
enjoyed without clothes,
Cute Jokes – 3 Things to learn from a CHILD:
-To Be Happy For No Reason.
-To Be Always Busy Doing Something.
-To Know How To Demand Small Things Without Ego.
Cute Jokes – Little Bob
Little Bob went with his mom to church every Sunday.
One morning in the middle of the service Bob complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to puke.
“No problem dear,” whispered his Mom in his ear, “just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and take care of it there.”
Thirty seconds later Bob came back. “Did you go to the bathroom?” question his Mom. “No need” responded Bob. “Right outside the door was a big box with a sign next to it ‘for the sick’, so I just did it in there!”
Cute Jokes – Miami
Bobby was sitting on the porch talking to his Grandpa when he innocently asked, “Grandpa, do you know how to make animal sounds?”
“I sure do” Grandpa replied. “What sort of animal sound would you like to hear?”
“How about a toad? Do you know how to sound like a toad?”
“Sure”, said Grandpa, cupping his hand to his mouth, “croaaak croaaak, how did you like that?!”
“Yipee!” screamed Bobby jumping up and down, “We are going to Miami!”
“Huh?” Questioned Grandpa. “Why’s that?”
“Because Grandma said so,” Bobby patiently explained, “she said that after you croak we’ll all go to Miami!”
Funny Cute Jokes – Animal Cracker
“Mom, can I have an animal cracker?” asked 3 year old Bob.
“Sure Bob,” said his mom. “Open up the box, and take a few.”
Forty five minutes later Bob’s mother walked into the kitchen.
“Bob, why’d you spill out all of the animal crackers, and what are you looking for?”
“It said on the box not to eat it if the seal is broken.”
Bob replied “I spilled out the whole box, I looked through all of the animals but I can’t find any seals!”
Cute Jokes – Cheek Kiss
I lovingly gave my niece a kiss on her cheek upon seeing her at a family get-together. Afterwards, I noticed her wiping her cheek. “Are you wiping off my kiss?”, I asked her. “No”, she smartly replied, “I’m just rubbing it in!”
More Funny Cute Jokes
Everyone loved Priest John. He was a happy jolly fellow always willing to help or lend a hand. One time John was walking down the street humming a tune when he saw a little boy trying to reach the doorbell of a nearby house. “Hey there sonny” said John “let me help you out”, and with that John reached out and pressed the bell. “Anything else I can do for you,” asked John with a smile. “Yes” said the boy. “Run! We’ve only got a few seconds before they come!”
Trying to be a good dad and spend some time with my son, I used to pretend we were boxing. I would get into a
fighter stance and jab with both of my fists saying one-two one-two. That all came to a rather abrupt end, when one day his teacher was handing something out to his class, and asked my son, “would you like one too?”
I live in Montreal, and for that reason my children have never been to a beach before. On our first family trip down South we decided one of the first things we were going to do was head to a beach. As soon as we saw the sand my kids went running off excitedly looking for seashells. “Mom!” screamed my five year old, running towards me with his hands full. “I found hundreds of them right next to each other!” With that he excitedly opened up his little hands revealing a handful of shells, not sea shells, but pistachio nut shells!
I was eagerly drinking in the attention in my grandson’s second grade class telling them what it was like to be a Navy Seal. My bubble was soon burst when I asked if their are any questions. “So” questioned one girl, “can you balance a ball on your nose?”
You don’t look old at all,” I assured my 40 year old friend, who was going through a middle age crisis. I didn’t notice my 6 year old next to me, until he piped up “Well, parts of her do.”
A cute boy asks a fallen rose:
Don’t u get hurt wen u r plucked?
Rose replied: No I forget my pain thinking that
i am the reason for someones smile.
How Dogs And Women Are Alike…..
Neither Believe That Silence Is Golden.
Neither Can Balance A Checkbook.
Both Put Too Much Value On Kissing.
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