Computer Jokes Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, Icomputer jokes have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!

Top 20 Computer Jokes

  1. What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with? He enters Nerdvana.
  2. Why was the computer shy? Because it had hardware and software but no underware.
  3. What was the spider doing on the computer? Searching the web!
  4. What do you get when you cross a hamburger with a computer? A big mac!
  5. How are elephants and computers similar? They both have big memories.
  6. How did the spider destroy the (worldwide) web? It gave it a bug.
  7. Why did Mark Zuckerberg visit Beijing, China? To see the “Great Firewall”.
  8. Why are PCs like air conditioners? They stop working properly if you open Windows!
  9. What did mommy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
  10. What was the hipster doing at the computer? Looking in the recycling bin for something retro.
  11. Q: What did the spider do on the computer? A: Made a website!
  12. Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime? A: Had a byte!
  13. Q: What does a baby computer call his father? A: Data!
  14. Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing? A: It had a virus!
  15. Q: What is a computer virus? A: A terminal illness!
  16. Q: Why was the computer cold? A: It left it’s Windows open!
  17. Q: Why was there a bug in the computer? A: Because it was looking for a byte to eat?
  18. Q: Why did the computer squeak? A: Because someone stepped on it’s mouse!
  19. Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard? A: A screensaver!
  20. Q: Where do all the cool mice live? A: In their mousepads

Computer Jokes

Computer Jokes -A few messages :–
1. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
2. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
3. Press any key . . . no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
4. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
5. Hit any user to continue.
6. Disk Full — Press F1 to belch.
7. Backup not found: Abort / Retry / Panic.
8. *Text Unreadable* — Abort / Retry / Get a Coke.

Computer Jokes – Food blogs are rife with pressing questions, helpful hints, and caustic comments from readers. One site took a jaundiced look at what one might expect to find on such boards.
“I don’t eat white flour, so I tried making it with raw almonds that I’d activated by chewing with my mouth open to receive direct sunlight, and it turned out terrible. This recipe is terrible.”
“I don’t have an oven; can 
I still make this? Please reply 
“A warning that if you 
cook this at 275°F for three hours instead of at 400°F for 
25 minutes, it’s completely 
ruined. Do you have any 

Computer Jokes – Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents:
Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.
Son: Why is that funny?computer Jokes 2
Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?
Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.
Mom: I thought it meant Lots 
of Love. I have to call everyone back.

Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.
Mom: WTF!
Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?
Mom: Well That’s Fantastic.

Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?
Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Mom: OK, I will ask your sister.

Computer Jokes – Girls are like an internet virus:
Girls r like virus
They enter your life,
Scan your pockets,
Transfer your money,
Edit your mind,
Download their problems and
Delete your smile
So please download the software SayNoToGirls.EXE to save your life otherwise the hardisk of your heart may crash.

Computer Jokes – Customer and tech support
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really jokes 3
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good, I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn’t inserted it yet, It’s still on my desk. Sorry….

Computer Jokes – Letter to Mr.Bill Gates from Banta singh
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears. We face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

Computer Jokes – Is There a Floppy Inside?
Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support : “What does it say?”
Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

Computer Jokes – Customer and tech support
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good, I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn’t inserted it yet, It’s still on my desk. Sorry….

Computer Jokes – Full disk
Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine.
Santa : “My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can’t you carry even this much?”
Banta : “But yours is empty and my disk is full”!!!

Funny Computer Jokes

Funny Computer Jokes – Internet Is Very Useful
Guy 1: “How’s your history paper coming?”
Guy 2: “Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it’s been very helpful.
Guy 1: “Really?”
Guy 2: “Yes! I’ve already located 17 people who sell them!”

Funny Computer Jokes – Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
F1! = Help!

Funny Computer Jokes – Two geeks are talking over lunch.
The first guy says, “You wouldn’t believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said ‘Take whatever you want!’ … So I took the bike”
The second guy says, “Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

Funny Computer Jokes – A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.
Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’
Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response:

Funny Computer Jokes – A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”

Funny Computer Jokes – Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”

Funny Computer Jokes -Marry a pengun
A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: “I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports, and enjoys group activities.”
Back came the answer: “Marry a penguin.”

More Computer Jokes

Computer Jokes – This guy was learning english. He learned the top 10 words: lol, yea, totaly, driving, swag, dead, women, hate, exited, jk. There was a murder at a museum. He went to check it out. The cops asked who was this. The man said lol. The cop said was it you? The man said yea.
The cop said do you want to go to jail? He responded with totaly!
Cop: How did you kill him?
Man: Driving.
Cop: How did you do it?
Man: Swag.
Cop: So what do you think is a fair punishment?
Man: Dead.
Cop: What do you love most in your life?computer science jokes
Man: Women.
Cop: So you love your wife.
Man: Hate.
Cop: What do you think about jail?
Man: Exited.
Cop: Really?
Man: Jk.

Computer Jokes – Q: Why didn’t Intel call the Pentium, the 586?
A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

Computer Jokes – You know it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with your computer when…. You wake up at 3 o’clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and you stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.You move into a new house and you decide to Netscape before you landscape. Your family always knows where you are.

Computer Jokes – First friend: “I am getting so tired of having to wade through so much Spam e-mail. Every time I sign on to get my e-mail I have to discard 20 Spam messages.”
Second friend: “I used to be in exactly the same situation: 20 Spam messages every time I signed on. But I solved that. Now I only get ONE every time I sign on.”
First friend: “That’s terrific. How did you do that?”
Second friend: “I sign on 20 times more.”

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