Children Jokes – Coffee and a Fly
A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! The waiter served the coffee. The customer found a fly in the coffee. He called the waiter.
Customer: How do I drink this coffee!
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink a coffee?
Customer: Waiter, see, there is a fly in my coffee.
Waiter: Oh yes sir, you are right! There is a fly in your coffee.
Customer: Waiter, I said, there is a fly in MMY coffee (He stressed the word MY)
Waiter: Oh don’t worry sir, the fly won’t drink much!
Customer: Waiter, it is swimming in my coffee.
Waiter: Sir, do you want me to get a lifeguard for the fly sir?
(Annoyed) Customer: the fly dead, it’s irritating!
Waiter: I guess, it doesn’t know how to swim properly.
Customer: How do I drink this coffee?
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink? I will teach you!
He drank the coffee! And said, this is how you should drink a coffee.
Top 40 Jokes for Children
- Knock, knock.
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!
- Knock, knock.
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
- After many years, a prisoner is finally released.
He runs around yelling, “I’m free! I’m free!”
A little kid walks up to him and says, “So what? I’m 4.”
- Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.
- Q: Which flower talks the most?
A: Tulips, of course, because they have two lips!
- Q: A man arrived in a small town on Friday. He stayed for two days and left on Friday. How is this possible?
A: His horse’s name is Friday!
- Knock, knock.
Cows go who?
No, silly. Cows go “moo!”
- Q: What did 0 say to 8?
A: Nice belt!
- Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?
A: You’re a fun guy [fungi].
- Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby?
A: He was a little hoarse.
- Q: Which team is the monster’s favourite one?
A: The Giants.
- Q: Which state in the happiest in the USA?
A: Merry Land [Maryland]
- Q: Where do boars save their cash?
A: Piggy banks, of course.
- Q: What made the orange stop suddenly?
A: It just ran out of juice.
- Q: How did the crazy scientist stretch his imagination?
A: He simply put an elastic band around his head.
- Q: What do you call a foreign ant?
- Q: What do ghosts have for breakfast?
A: Boo-loney snacks.
- Q: Why do flies walk on the ceiling and not on the floor?
A: Because, someone might stamp on them if they walked on the floor.
- Q: When does a man not become a man?
A: When he turns into an [alley].
- Q: How can one tell when bells are behaving properly?
A: If it rings only when tolled.
- Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
- Q: What can go up a chimney down, but can’t go down a chimney up? A: An umbrella.
- Q: Why was the broom late? A: It over swept!
- Q: Why didn’t the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? A: because it was rated arrrrr What did the Super Nintendo say to the Sega Genesis? “You know, everyone always tells me that I’m a bit better than you.”
- Q: What’s the difference between Ms. and Mrs.? A: Mr.
- Q: What word looks the same backwards and upside down? A: Swims
- Q: Where does a tree store their stuff? A: In there Trunk!
- Q: What did the nose say to the finger? A: Stop picking on me.
- Q: What did the tie say to the hat? A: You go on ahead and I’ll hang around!
- Q: Where does bad light go? A: PRISM!
- Q: What did one plate say to the other? A: Dinners on me
- Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A: A Mer-Maid
- Q: Where do pencils go on vacation? A: Pennsylvania
- Q: What is heavy forward but not backward? A: Ton.
- Q: What do you get when you plant kisses? A: Tu-lips (two-lips)
- Q: What pet makes the loudest noise? A: A trum-pet!
- Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A: Bugs Bunny!
- Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A: So he could have sweet dreams.
- Q: Why did the robber take a bath? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
- Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic
Children Jokes – Station Master and a Lady Passenger
A lady was running to catch a train to Bangalore. She reached the station and was searching for the train.
Passenger: (Asked to the station master) Sir, is this my train?
Station Master: No Madam, this is not your train, it’s railways department’s train.
Passenger: (Annoyed) That’s a good joke. Don’t act too smart. What I meant was, can I take this train to Bangalore?
Station Master: No ma’am, you cannot! This train is so BIG and you can’t take it.
Passenger: Its really funny! Now say me, will this train take me to Bangalore?
Station Master: NO ma’am. The train can’t take you. The train driver will drive it to Bangalore!
The passenger fainted!
Children Jokes – It’s Time
Even though he could not tell time, my three-year-old grandson was playing with a wall clock when I visited.
Later, when I was putting on my coat to leave, I asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, then brightened.
“It’s time for you to go,” he answered triumphantly.
Children Jokes – Browsing marriage and honeymoon
While browsing through the marriage and honeymoon photographs of the parents, the Beta asks his Papa:
Beta : “Papa, Papa, Jub aap aur mama honeymoon pe gaye thai, tab main kahan tha?”
Man and son
Baap : “Beta, jaate samay tum Papa ke paas tha, aate samay tum Mama ke paas thai.”
Children Jokes – If he went to hell…
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”
Children Jokes – Be quite at church
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
Little Johnny replied, “Because we must not disturb people while sleeping.”
Children Knock-knock Jokes
Children Jokes – Q: Knock-knock—-Who’s there?—-Gray Z—-Gray Z who?
A: Gray Z mixed up kid.
Children Jokes – Q: Knock, knock—-Who’s There?—-Who—-Who Who?
A: Is there an owl in there?
Children Jokes – Q: Knock, knock—-Who’s There?—-Anita—-Anita who?
A: Anita to borrow a pencil.
Children Jokes – Q: Knock, knock—-Who’s There?—-Woo—-Woo who?
A: Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke.
Children Jokes – Q: Knock, knock—-Who’s There?—-Figs—-Figs who?
A: Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
Jokes For Children – Q: Knock-knock—-Who’s there?—-Alice—-Alice who?
A: Alice fair in love and war.
Jokes For Children – Q: Knock, knock—-Who’s There?—-Annie—-Annie Who?
A: Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Children Jokes | Teacher Student Jokes
Teacher: Ramu, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Ramu: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair of the same at home.
Teacher: Ramu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Ramu: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
Ramu: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”
Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Ramu: Don’t bite any.
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would
I be showing?
Ramu: Brotherly love.
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Ramu: A teacher
Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty?
Ramu: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Teacher: “Ramu, you talk a lot !”
Ramu: “It’s a family tradition”.
Teacher: “What do you mean?”
Ramu: “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.
Teacher: “What about your mother?”
Ramu: “She’s a woman”.
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Ramu: Your name on this report card.
More Jokes For Children
Jokes For Children – Not going to have babies
A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.
“That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?”
“Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”
“How about transportation?” the father asked.
“I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,” the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.
Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.”
“We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied.
“We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!”
Jokes For Children – Christmas wish!
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas.
“I pray for a new bicycle!”
“I pray for a new Nintendo!”
“I pray for a new VCR!”
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.“
To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!“
Jokes For Children – Strange socks
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you’re wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots !!
PAPPU: Yes, it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.
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