# Cool Jokes

Cool Jokes – Math Teacher : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.
Student : I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter.

Cool jokes – In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don’t know.
Examiner: You are failed, what’s your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

## Top 12 Funny Cool Jokes

1. The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E.
One boy says: “Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T.
The same boys says: “Two elephants.”
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behaviuor. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M.
The boy shouts from the other side of the door: “Maybe an elephant!”
2. Teacher: “Johnny, why are you late?”
Johnny: “Sir, because of a sign.”
Teacher: “What sign?”
Johnny: “A sign that said ‘Go Slowly, School Ahead’.”
3. So there are three boys called: Shut Up, Manners, and Poo. Poo goes to the well to collect some water but he felt in the well.
4. Manners goes to the well to try to help Poo out, while Shut Up goes to the police station to get help.
5. Police: “What is your name?”
Shut Up: “Shut up.”
Shut Up: “Down the well picking up Poo.”
6. There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?”
The third fellow says “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”
The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man’.”
7. If My tomorrow never comes
I M sorry for all the Things I might have Said
I M sorry for all the Things I did Or didn,T Do
I M sorry if I ever ignored you
I M sorry if I ever made you feel bad Or put you down
I M sorry if I ever thought I was bigger Or better than you
I M sorry for everything wrong I have ever done
I M Writing This becoz if My tomorrow never comes?
If I never get A chance To say sorry then I m sorry.. .. .. .. ..
8. People don’t always need advice.
Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold,
an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them.
These line are really very heart touching,
sometime we should understand the condition.
Good Morning / Good Night
9. Missing u iz my “HOBBY”
Care 4 U, is my “JOB”
Make u happy, is my “DREAM”
Pray 4 u, is my “DUTY”
&
2 keep friendship wid u,
.
.
.
.
is my “CHOICE”
10. If you succeed in cheating someone,
Don’t think that the person is a fool…
Realize that the person trusted you
much more than you deserved …!!
11. A beautiful thought!!
The person who can explain the meaning
of color to a blind can explain
anything & everything in life!
12. Relatinships r like a book It taks a few seconds to burn
But
It takes years to write
So write it carfuly
&
never let it Burn!!
~Author Unknown

## Cool Jokes

Cool Jokes – If You Want People
To Give You Attention,
“Bring A Pen With
You While Going
To The Bank…”

Cool Jokes – A small boy took a knife and wrote his girlfriend’s name on his hand
After a minute he started crying loudly…
Why???
.
.
.
Paining???
No..!! Then???..
Spelling mistake..!! :O

Cool Jokes – A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”

Cool Jokes – A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.
“Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow. I don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of my patients.”
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: “So, Seamus, how was your day?”
Seamus told him that he took care of three patients.
“Bravo, and the second one?” – asks the doctor.
“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Malox, sir.” – says Seamus.
“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” – asks the doctor.
“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opened and a woman entered. Like a flame, she undressed herself, taking off everything including her bra, her panties and lied down on the table. She spread her legs and shouted: “HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!”
“Thunderin’ Lard Jayzus, Seamus, what did ye do?” – asks the doctor.
“I put drops in her eyes.” !!!!!

### Cool Waiter Jokes

Cool Jokes – Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?
Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.
Customer: Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Cool Jokes – Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.

Cool Jokes – A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”
Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3×3?”
Harry: “9”
Principal: “What is 6×6?”
Harry: “36”
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.”
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.”
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”
Ms Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: “Pockets.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Harry: “Pants.”
Ms. Brooks: “What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”
Harry: “Coconut.”
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Cool Funny Jokes – Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”
The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?”
Harry: “Shake hands.”
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?”
Harry: “Firetruck.”
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong…”

Cool Jokes – A boy got a miss call. He went to school and asked his teacher: “Miss why did you send me a call?”
Teacher: “I didn’t.”
Boy: “Well my phone says I got a miss call.”